9:30 pm. Credits roll on Project Runway Episode 2 of Season 12

Heidi In An Animal Print Skirt

Cynthia sits glaring at the TV. Marcy sleeps.

Marcy (groggily):  What happened?

Bitter Silence

Marcy:  What?!

Cynthia (sarcastically):  Well, Marcy, let’s see. In the bottom three we have:  Helen, the dysfunctional rocker chick with oddly pointed black fingernails who made a badly sewn together trash bag dress and stopped the runway show with an uncontrollable crying fit.

Helen’s Trash Bag Dress

Then, we have Timothy again. This week Unicorn Man was incredibly needy and desperate. He made a ridiculous looking backwards dress with bizarre boob placement. We also got to watch him manically rummage through the trash for material because he is “sustainable” which means he just HAS to be annoyingly cloyingly insufferably holier than thou. Way to represent us “greenies” Timothy. Thanks. No wonder no one likes us.

Timothy’s Backwards Dress

Finally, we have Kahindo. She made a pretty dress that was nicely constructed but unfortunately did not have the “wow” factor that was needed for this particular challenge. She is a sweetheart. A woman with a “pure soul” says Tim Gunn. Obviously talented. She made a dress I would wear. Lovely.

We Heart Kahindo

Cynthia:  So, Marcy.  Who do you think went home?

Marcy:  OMG! They sent Kahindo home?

Cynthia:  Of course. Because as you pointed out last week, we are watching a Reality TV show. Not a Show About Fashion.  If we were watching a Show About Fashion we would have had … oh… maybe a discussion on why Justin would be so bold as to ignore Tim Gunn’s advice and then still manage to create a beautiful dress or say…an analysis on how Kate got her bust cups to look so couture and Helen got hers to look so hideous. Not just taking the easy way out either and declaring it is because of experience. And again, another very pretty blue dress won the challenge. 

Kate’s Winning Look

Marcy:  OMG! They sent Kahindo home?!

Cynthia:  Yes, I just said that.

Marcy:  OMG! They sent Kahindo home! But I love her.

Marcy’s ears go flat against her head, her eyes narrow, and she looks ready to pounce.

Marcy (seething):  Watch out Heidi, Zac, Nina, and Guy in Camo. We’re coming to New York.

Smug Judges Who Sell Out For Reality TV Ratings

Cynthia:  For what?

Marcy:  A Catfight. What else. Mrrrrooohhhwwww.