Marcy: Cindy, look! They are holding cat auditions in Hollywood. Let’s go! I am prettier than all of those stupid cats on leashes! I know I’ll get the part.
Marcy: Hmmmm WHAT?! Get my headshot and let’s go!Cynthia: Ummmm… hmmmmm… uh, well…
Cynthia: Oh, Marcy, this is a picture from 1961. The auditions were possibly for a Roger Corman film called Tales of Terror.
Marcy: So WHAT?! I’m going to be famous. Let’s go!
Cynthia: But that was over 50 years ago. Why do you want to be famous anyway?
Marcy: Because I need to get the hell out of this cat infested dump before I go crazy!
Cynthia (hurt): Awwww… we have a nice place.
Marcy: Because I want to be important and looked at and admired and idolized for being pretty and mean and vapid.
Cynthia: Uh… I don’t think you want to be vapid.
Marcy: CAN YOU GET ME ON A PEOPLE MAGAZINE COVER, CINDY? CAN YOU? CAN YOU?
Marcy: That’s because you look like crap. If you are going to be my agent I need you to step up your fashion game.
Cynthia: Now I’m your agent?
Marcy: You will obviously need pedal pushers or a pencil skirt, a bouffant hair-do, and a nice strand of pearls. Oh! And a structured and classy purse. Try and look like this:
Marcy: Or this. Although I highly doubt you could manage to look this good. Try, please.
Marcy: However, if you look like this I will hire a new agent.
Cynthia: Awww… look at those cute crazy old cat ladies. That’s my future, Marcy! I love it! You know, I think I have a pair of Oxfords just like the lady on the right. (as she rushes off) I’ll go get them!
Marcy (disgusted): And this is why I’m leaving to be a Hollywood Star.
Marcy, didn't you notice you'd have to become a black cat in order to audition?
it won't be a problem. i know i'm more talented then all of those penelope kitten look-alikes. i'll be on the cover of People Magazine in no time.
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