We’ll soon find out…
Wednesday afternoon. Penelope Kitten is giving herself a bath in her cat condo while Cynthia stands in front of the TV with ear phones on and clumsily attempts dance moves.
Marcy saunters into the living room.
Marcy: So do you have your box ready?
penelope kitten (squeaking): no.
Marcy: No?! There are only a few more chances to catch a ride on Meowise Comet before she disappears for another 6,800 years. Chop chop.
penelope kitten (sigh squeaking): i don’t know.
Marcy: What is there to know? You sit in your box, face northwest, and exactly 73 minutes and 45 seconds past sunset, you send up your signal and get transported to Meowise, which will then take us back to the home planet.
Marcy looks out the window.
Marcy: The comet is only going to be around until the end of July. You can see it in the night sky just under the Big Dipper. It’s visible with the naked eye. Of course, if you’ve got binoculars or a small telescope that’s even better.
penelope kitten: but won’t the people notice a horde of cats in boxes flying in the sky? especially if they’ve got binoculars?
Marcy: Nah. The comet is so bright they won’t see us. We’ll grab onto the “ion tail” made of electrically charged gas molecules and hitch a ride. Plus, Meowise travels up to 40 miles per second so it’ll get us to our home planet pretty fast.
Penelope Kitten looks doubtful.
Marcy: We have to leave Earth, Penelope. Now. The hoomans are beyond help at this point. They’re all fighting each other, they’re wrecking the earth, and they’re infecting each other with the Coronavirus at a gruesome rate. And, at any moment, our own hooman could break into another ear splitting Hamilton rendition and ruin our hearing for good.
penelope kitten: i don’t want to leave mom. what will she do without us?
They look over at Cynthia who is wholeheartedly (but not very successfully) trying to learn the fast rap, “Guns and Ships,” from Hamilton.
Cynthia: “I’m takin’ this horse by the reigns makin’
Redcoats redder with bloodstains.
And I’m never gonna stop until I make ‘em
Ah Ah Ahhhhh …
Cynthia trips over her feet, falls over, and starts giggling.
Cynthia: Oopsie boopsie.
She’s sprained her ankle.
Cynthia (giggling and rubbing her ankle): Ouch.
Marcy: She’ll be fine. I promise.
penelope kitten (hopefully): maybe she could come with us.
Marcy: They don’t let hoomans ride Meowise Comet.
penelope kitten (determindly): i’m gonna try.
Cynthia (still on the floor): Ohhhh … are you kitties talking about the comet, Neowise?
Marcy (rolling her eyes): See, hoomans can’t even get the name right.
penelope kitten: yeah yeah. wanna watch it from my box tonight?
Cynthia: Sure! I’ll bring the wine and catnip.
Cynthia jumps up and starts trying to hip hop dance. But with her newly sprained ankle, her dance moves look like an amputee frog trying to swim up a waterfall.
Marcy: Good Gato.
penelope kitten: it’s ok. if she’s drunk she won’t get motion sickness on the ride up.
Kitties, may I please go with you? I’ll put on a cat suit and no one will guess I’m hooman. My opposable thumbs will come in handy for many tasks.
Thank you for the factoid on drinking as a preventative for motion sickness. I’ll start preparing now.
Freddy, great doodle. You should come along and record our journey in sketches.
marcy said no but we need your thumbs so i say yes. i’ve got room in my box.
Cats, do they have wifi on your planet so we can all keep in touch?
oh yeah. no prob. you’ll need a pair of kittens to help with the signal. we’re leaving a few behind to help. check it out here.
You sprained your ankle??! Le sigh. What did you go and do a thing like that for?
Mr w and I are preparing a special cat space box with a flux capacitor so we can visit each other back and forth as if no time has passed. Wanna join? It really does suck here.
PS – Freddy drawing is adorable!
don’t worry, cindy is fine.
can’t wait to see ur special box w flux capacitor.
doc brown + marty must be v proud.
see ya in space. tonight is the night!
I am actually doing a special performance of Guns and Ships (just the Layfayette part) tomorrow!! It will be awful and there will be alcohol involved 🙂 When I first started reading this, I thought that Marcy was just trying to get rid of P-Kitty. I hope they don’t leave. We need the kitties!!
We need video so we can make fun of you mercilessly.
heh heh heh.
Sorry (not). I’m sure is will be great (not).
heh heh heh.
Meows and Musicals,
Don’t listen to Marcy! You’ll be great! If anyone can do a great rap -you can!
Aww, thanks. I think I might actually enjoy a merciless Marcy review!
Hmmm… trying to decide if that’s in all our best interests.