AKA cat crimes and misdemeanors and 5th grade …
*buying via the affiliate links may result in Marcy and Penelope getting more treats*
7pm. Wednesday evening. Cynthia is sitting at the computer preparing her Amazon order.
Cynthia (calling out): Ok, kitties, I’m almost ready to hit send on my Amazon order. Is there anything you need?
penelope kitten (squeaking from the office): 700 Dixon Ticonderoga No 2 pencils, 500 multi colored golf pencils with erasers, and 2 electric pencil sharpeners.
Cynthia (confused): What?
penelope kitten: oh and maybe a few mechanical pencils just for good measure.
Cynthia: Is this some kind of joke? Ha Ha.
penelope kitten (squeaking): no no. no joke. it’s for our new business venture.
Cynthia becomes concerned and marches into the office.
Cynthia: Aaack!!!
Marcy and Penelope are sitting on a huge heap of saw dust and are surrounded by pencils.
Marcy: We’re selling pencils at the elementary school. Apparently, hooman children of the digital age are so in love with the old fashioned implements they’ll pay anything to get their snotty little hands on ‘em.
penelope kitten: they like ‘em little. so we sharpen them with our claws. but now our claws are nubby so we need the pencil sharpeners.
Cynthia: Kids don’t have money. What are they paying you with?
penelope kitten: candy. cookies sometimes.
Marcy: Most of them are giving us IOU’s.
Cynthia: IOU what? And what if they don’t pay their IOU’s?
Marcy (eyes narrowing): Oh they’ll pay.
penelope kitten (nervously): it’s ok. Robbie the Rat and Murray the Mole said they’d help us out.
Cynthia: You two are not going to send rakish rodents to the elementary school to shake down a bunch of seven to ten year olds. How do you even get into the school?
Marcy: We enrolled. I’m in Mrs. Buchanan’s 5th grade class and Penelope is in Mr. Roth’s second grade class.
penelope kitten: i’m getting straight p’s. and, i’m in the christmas play. Principal Pratt says i’m a natural. i hope you’ll come see it.
Cynthia is so confused she can’t decide if –
- her cats are in some weird moggy mafia and she should alert the school or –
- if she should be happy her cats are in a nice learning environment –
- if she has entered the moggy multiverse and should just go with it.
Cynthia (helplessly throwing up her hands): Who are you playing?
penelope kitten: the baby jesus.
Marcy: So about those Dixon Ticonderoga No 2’s?
penelope kitten: btw, Murray is not a rodent. he’s a mole. mole’s are insectivores. it was number three on our science test last tuesday.
=^..^=
Books!
How does our anxious but amiable black kitten with a squeaky voice and a pudgy primordial pouch get through life?
Why … with a mix of pluckiness, persistence, pragmatism, and pizazz.
Join the adventures of Penelope Kitten, a Wiffle ball loving apartment cat as she navigates a world of crafty crows, killer coyotes, and vicious vacuums.
Whether she’s on her CB radio, or donning her superhero cape, or campaigning to be VP of the USA, Penelope Kitten is out to save the world (or maybe take it over).
One squeak at a time.
♥
“Dear Marcy … Ask Her Anything And Hope She Doesn’t Answer!”
Because we all need telling off advice from an opinionated cat.
Always humorous.
Sometimes malevolent
♠
3 Comments
So much is wrong here:
Do you two even have a business plan?
How are you going to pay Bezos for the pencils?
How did I live this this long without knowing moles were insectivores?
And how is it I never heard of insectivores until now had to Google it?
We’re cats. We don’t need a business plan.
And Bezos is a Bozo. We’re not worried about him. We’ve got Robbie and Murray.
Meow,
Marcy
u can come to second grade with me if you’d like.
it’s total amazeballs.
plus, i need help zipping up my winter jacket and tying my shoelaces.
squeak,
p