But for cat lovers! …
Hamlet, Marcy and Penelope Kitten’s hunky tabby cat brother, is sitting on the sofa ardently typing away on the iPhone.
Marcy and Penelope leap out from behind the sofa.
Marcy and Penelope (screaming): Gotcha!
Hamlet yelps and the iPhone flies into the air. Hamlet catches it with one paw and resumes typing away on it.
Penelope climbs on Hamlet’s head and sits on it. Marcy pokes him repeatedly him with a pointy claw.
Hamlet: Stop it.
penelope kitten (squeaking): watcha doing? hunh? hunh? hunh?
Hamlet: Looking for a new love. You girls drive me crazy. There’s this new app called TabbyDates.com. I’m gonna find a new lady and leave this joint.
Marcy grabs it out of his paws to investigate.
Marcy: TabbyDates.com is for hoomans looking for love with other hoomans. It’s not for cats looking for hoomans to adopt them. You’re stupid.
Hamlet lunges for Marcy but Marcy deftly leaps to the top of the fridge and reads more.
Marcy: TabbyDates is founded by cat superstars Nathan the CatLady and Sterling “TrapKing” Davis. Apparently both men have had trouble finding dates with girls who love cats. They say that being a “cat man” has inhibited their ability to find love, which is why they developed the app.
Cynthia stops dead in her track. She is confused and horrified.
Cynthia: Sterling and Nathan are single? Two of the hottest men on the cat convention circuit can’t find dates? Whaaaat?!!!
Marcy: Yup. They developed this app so that cat lovers can connect with other cat lovers.
Cynthia: Two of the hottest men in cat rescue are single but can’t mingle?!!
Marcy: Yup. The app launches on August 8th, International Cat Day.
Cynthia’s eyes widen.
Cynthia: Two of the hottest, not to mention, sweetest and funniest, men in the cat world can’t find cat friendly loves?!
Marcy: Uh oh.
Hamlet: Mom! You’re married. Snap out of it. Marcy! Give me back my phone.
Hamlet leaps to the top of the fridge to grab the iPhone out of Marcy’s paw.
Hamlet (taking a selfie for his TabbyDates profile): I’m gonna to pose as hooman with a furry tabby face. The ladies will love me.
Marcy: I’ll email Nathan and Sterling and tell them if they really want dates, they need to pose as cats.
Cynthia: I wouldn’t worry about it, Marcy. As soon as word gets out that Sterling and Nathan are looking for love, they’ll have the entire world of cat lovers after them.
penelope kitten: i predict two weddings by this time next year. hope they’ll let me be a flower kitten. i luv a good petal projectile.
Penelope Kitten warms up her pitching paw.
penelope kitten (squeaking): pow pow pow … POW.
*TabbyDates.com is a dating app for cat lovers. “Tabby is the first official dating app for people who love cats.”
Tabby – The Cat Person’s Dating App is available in Australia, Canada, U.K and The United States.
Check out Sterling “TrapKing” Davis’ cat rap on our very own, The Cat Show by Marcy Very Much – at the 16:45 minute mark.