All Of Sudden I Need

All Of A Sudden I Need | 100 Pairs Of Ugly Pants

Cynthia wearing the J.Crew Wide-Leg Crop


Our recurring feature about those inexplicable manic fashion moments when all of a sudden we have to have a bizarre item of clothing. Immediately.  …

(Buying via the affiliate links in this article may result in Marcy and Penelope getting extra treats.)

Cynthia is furtively sneaking packages from the mailbox into the house when Marcy suddenly appears.

Cynthia screams.

Marcy:  Watcha got there?

Cynthia shoves the packages behind her back.

Cynthia:  Nothing.

Marcy: Doesn’t look like nothing.

Cynthia: Yeah… well… you know…

Marcy:  Are you buying more ugly pants?

Cynthia:  Oh … I don’t know …

Marcy:  What is your fascination with ugly pants?

Cynthia: They’re not ugly!

Marcy: They are! They are actually and literally called … Ugly Pants.

Cynthia: But … they’re cute adorable must-have high-waisted wide-leg crops.


Marcy:  They’re unflattering fugly pants that will be out of style soon.

penelope kitten (squeaking):  no swearing please. thank u.

Silence as Cynthia and Marcy face off.

Cynthia:  They’re trendy.

Marcy: Exactly. In two years, they’ll be outdated. In ten years, everyone will look back at 2019 as the year every woman thought wearing pants that made them look two feet wider and two feet shorter was somehow a great idea. It will be exactly like how we look at low-rise jeans and crop tops now. Utterly horrified. A “what on earth were we thinking” kind of embarrassment.

Cynthia: Which. Is. Exactly why I have to buy and enjoy them now and for the next two years.

Marcy:  Ah ha. So you did buy more ugly pants.

Cynthia: Well, they come in so many awesome colors and fabrics. Some have pockets, some have a button fly. Everyone is making them. Anthropologie, Everlane, JCrew, Madewell, Gap. I just don’t want to miss out.

Marcy:  You do know these are all knockoffs of the original Jesse Kamm Sailor Pant, right?


Cynthia wrinkles her nose and looks a little guilty.

Marcy: You do know that she filed a complaint against Madewell over this, right? You do know that you are now part of the problem, right?

Silence as Cynthia concentrates very hard to come up with a believable and appropriate answer.

Cynthia:  But the Jesse Kamm pant is so expensive. And these –

Cynthia holds up her packages.

Cynthia (excitedly):  are all on sale!


Marcy:  So basically, you could have bought one pair of Jesse Kamm pants  for all seven of the knockoffs you got.

Cynthia:  Yes! Besides, can a wide-leg crop pant be copyrighted? I’ve been wearing them since  the 3rd grade. And, anyway, didn’t she knock off 1940’s sailor pants?

Marcy:  Your justifications are feeble and misguided.

Cynthia (nodding her head seriously): Well, Marcy. I have heard what you you’ve had to say. And, I will consider your judgement.

Cynthia zooms off to put on her new pants.

Cynthia (gleefully):  While I’m wearing my new fabulous ugly pants.

Marcy: I’m going to make fun of her mercilessly in ten years. Heh heh heh.


More Ugly Pants (♥,cynthia)



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  • Reply Stacey April 15, 2019 at 6:59 am

    Since you are tall you can pull these off, so they are not ugly pants on you. I get the fun appeal of being attracted to items that can be affordable and or goofy. Lately I’m on a Hawaiian shirt kick and logo tees which are very affordable. I just bought a Flashdance tee shirt with the image of Jennifer Beals on it at Forever 21 yesterday. So continue to have guilt free fun buying those Cute pants.

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch April 15, 2019 at 11:00 am

      Ohhhhh … Hawaiian shirts are awesome! Now I want an off the shoulder sweatshirt like the one Jennifer Beals wore in Flashdance. I bet it would go great with my Ugly Pants!! And, I agree – goofy is fun!

  • Reply Big Momma April 15, 2019 at 7:45 am

    Maybe these pants need to grow on us, Marcy. Weird fashion trends begin to look normal after awhile. For me, by the time a fad is over, I’m on board and rummaging through the “final sale everything must go” rack. I may look dated but never weird. Let’s leave that to Cynthia.

    • mm
      Reply Marcy Cat April 15, 2019 at 11:02 am

      Fine. As long as I don’t have to be seen in public with her.

  • Reply Patty April 15, 2019 at 12:46 pm

    I’m torn. Some are indeed ugly, but some look cute. I think they would all look cute if you were wearing them! 🙂

    • mm
      Reply Marcy Cat April 15, 2019 at 12:50 pm

      you are enabling her. i’m the one that has to look at her all day you know.

  • Reply TheLadyK April 15, 2019 at 2:01 pm

    Yeahhhhh… as much as it pains me to say it, I gotta go with Marcy on this one. At least, for me. You look cute in them! (Btw: is there blond in your hair?? It looks awesome!) Being a short waisted chick who’s been – ahem – ‘blessed’ in the chestal area, high waisted pants make me look like said boobs are perched on my stomach. NOT the look.

    Then again, I do have a ratty old pair of weird cropped sweatpants that are apparently fashionable now. Woohoo! I’m trendy! That never happens…

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch April 15, 2019 at 2:11 pm

      Looks like it is pretty split down the middle of for and against. Yes – a little blonde at the ends. My natural hair color appears to be blonde, brown, red, and gray. I look like a calico cat. lol

  • Reply Vik April 15, 2019 at 3:32 pm

    Cute on you. As probably mentioned before, I am a big fan of my mostly elderly overalls, and like your pants, they are polarizing as far as opinion. Though I do get a lot of compliments on them. Scared to admit to the overalls with Marcy reading……

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch April 15, 2019 at 3:51 pm

      Overalls are so in style right now! What goes around comes around – eventually we have to be on trend! Whether Marcy likes it or not. She’s napping right now, btw. I’ll run it by Penelope.

    • mm
      Reply penelope kitten April 15, 2019 at 3:54 pm

      i luv overalls! they r my go to item of clothing. plz wear them so we can be twinzies.
      supah cute!

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