All Of Sudden I Need

All Of A Sudden I Need … Pink Pants!

Another inexplicable manic fashion moment when all of a sudden we must have a bizarre item of clothing.  Immediately.


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Cynthia is procrastinating. This means she is perusing the Nordstrom website like a hamster on an exercise wheel.

Suddenly …

Cynthia:  Oh no. Nooooo. No way. Oh my gosh. No.

penelope kitten (running from the room):  no more fireworks. i can’t handle it.

Cynthia (calling after her):  Ah Penelope. It’s okay. These are pants, not fireworks!

Marcy looks over at the computer.

Marcy: Those pants are pink!


Cynthia (gravely):  Not just pink. They’re … bubblegum pink.

Marcy (shuddering):  Exactly.

Cynthia stands shaking her head.

Cynthia: No way.

Marcy: Yeah so. I agree. They’re hideous. Can we move on?

Cynthia:  I must have them.

Marcy: What?!

Cynthia (very serious):  Marcy. They’re wide-leg. Pink. Pants.

Marcy:  You’ll like you pooped out an entire bottle of Pepto Bismol.

Cynthia (feverishly scouring the internet):  I wonder if these are special or if pink pants are now a trend.

Marcy watches Cynthia, aghast.

Cynthia stops abruptly, inhales sharply, puts her hand over her mouth, and paces the apartment.

Marcy: What?

Cynthia shakes her head and points to the computer.

Marcy looks.

Marcy (recoiling):  Ow! My eyes. My eyes.

Cynthia:  Pink pants. Lots and lots of pink pants.

Cynthia:  But do you see what I see?

Marcy (in agony): I don’t know. I feel like I’m in a Hubba Bubba/Bubble Yum nightmare.

Cynthia: The pink pants are mostly from the expensive brands. Which means by next year they will be trendy and cost less. Which means they are safe to buy now since our “cost to wear ratio” will likely decrease as the trend moves through its cycle.

Marcy:  So what you’re saying is – you think those pink pants are practically free.

Cynthia: Practically. It would be stupid not to buy them.

Marcy: Uh huh.

Cynthia: You know … from a monetary perspective.

Marcy:  I see.

Suspenseful standoff as each eyes the other and the computer uneasily.

Before Marcy can jump on the computer to destroy it, Cynthia grabs her car keys.

Cynthia:  I’m going to Nordstrom. Byeeeeeee.

Marcy (watching from the window as Cynthia races to her car) Hey Penelope! Get your hairballs ready.

Cynthia screeches out of the driveway, almost runs over a kid on a tricycle, and rams into the mailbox knocking it to the ground. The  car revs a few times before zooming off.

Marcy:  Looks like we’re going to have to puke on some pink pants.


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  • Reply Patty July 9, 2021 at 2:00 pm

    Some of those are really cute. But you have to be careful what shade you get, or it just looks like you’re not wearing pants at all!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch July 9, 2021 at 3:37 pm

      Ohhh maybe the no pants look is the next trend! I’ll be first!!

  • Reply Big Mamma July 9, 2021 at 2:55 pm

    Cynthia, if you’re gonna do this, get the $1250 Valentino’s. They’re the least eye-straining headache-inducing of the group.
    And don’t wear them when you go to feed the feral cats. You’ll scare them away and they’ll go hungry.

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch July 9, 2021 at 3:39 pm

      Oh goodie! Encouragement to buy thousand dollar pants!!! I’m going to look for my credit card. Marcy hid it somewhere.

  • Reply TheLadyK July 10, 2021 at 6:55 am

    Hubba Bubba and Bubble Yum!
    I want a pair of the hot pink ones. If you’re gonna wear pink pants, you might as well get them in the most obnoxious shade possible. Do they come in electric green? Goes better with my hair. ?

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch July 10, 2021 at 10:58 am

      Electric Green!!! Love it!! Start the trend! I’m with ya! Marcy may never speak to us again. lol

  • Reply Vik July 11, 2021 at 1:46 pm

    Impressed that you even wanna buy pants that actually feature a zipper and button!!!! Pink or not! And Marcy, you should encourage Cynthia to get the ones with the black heart, to match the heart on your butt!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch July 11, 2021 at 2:13 pm

      Yes! Zippers and buttons are definitely a concern!! Maybe I should just find some pink sweatpants instead. Much more comfy!

    • mm
      Reply Marcy Cat July 11, 2021 at 2:14 pm


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