Photo by Dominik Vanyi on Unsplash
It’s Another “Dear Marcy … Ask Her Anything And Hope She Doesn’t Answer!” …
Dear Marcy,
My dad is a successful business man. Buttoned up. Straight-laced. No nonsense. I mean, I’ve never even heard him tell a Dad joke.
He just turned 50.
All of a sudden he’s trying to be trendy. Except he doesn’t say trendy. He says “hip” which is so 1980’s. But 1980’s in the bad way. Not in the good way.
He even described my outfit (baby doll tee, baggy jeans, and Doc Martens) as “on fleek” yesterday but that term is out of date by about 3 years already. I told him the correct term for my outfit is “good drip” but then he got frustrated and said “sheesh” but with the out of date intonation/meaning.
It’s all so pathetic. Plus, “no cap”, he sounds crazy.
What’s his problem and how do I help him?
Sincerely,
Daughter of Denial
Dear Kid,
Men over 50 are strange beings that are best to be avoided.
Their outright horror at looking in the mirror and seeing their Dad bods turn into Grandpa bods makes them simultaneously garishly goofy and certifiably insane.
Their panic is palpable as they realize death is not far off and if they make a pass at anyone under 40 they will be considered creepy. So they get weird. And not just plain weird. They get weird weird.
“No cap”, there’s nothing you can do. He has to ride out his insanity until he surrenders to the idea of Old Man Time.
Or dies.
It could be awhile so hang on and simply nod/grimace/sigh at his alarming infantile antics.
Besides, it could be worse. He could be driving a Ford Mustang and taking improv classes. That’s what my 54 year old cat dad is doing.
Btw, the Man-Over-50’s attempts to be cool are nature’s way of self neutering so he doesn’t have any more offspring. Make sure to tip one of his ears when you get a chance.
You’re welcome,
Marcy
*If you have a pressing question that needs to be answered by an opinionated cat, please email Marcy at Marcy@MarcyVeryMuch.com
*For more advice from Marcy, check out our book, “Dear Marcy … Ask Her Anything And Hope She Doesn’t Answer!”
Because we all need telling off advice from an opinionated cat.
Always humorous.
Sometimes malevolent.
=^..^=
6 Comments
Marcy, I’m sorry your cat dad has succumbed to the denial-of-aging syndrome.
At least he hasn’t expanded his arsenal or enrolled in survivalist camp or joined the Proud Boys. That’s what Texas men do to get through the flabby, flaccid fifties.
You cats will be safe in LA with improv and Mustangs. Just stay off the streets.
Will do. Mustangs are stupid anyway.
Meow,
Marcy
So Marcy, does this mean you don’t go cruising (as a passenger) on the 101, with the top down and the Beach Boys blasting, and the wind blowing through your hair?
No. I don’t like wind, the Beach Boys, or the 101.
But Cindy says that sounds totally tubular.
She’ll motor on up the 405, pick you up, and you two hoomans can
head on over to the ‘Bu for fish tacos.
Bring me back a fish taco or five.
Meow,Marcy
Thank you for confirming my decision to be a dirty old lady and robbing the cradle with younger men. I had no idea men my age were so weird… but it explains a lot.
(PS — Freddy is taking improv? Good for him!) 🙂
Yes. Better to be the boss. Always.
Freddy loves his improv class.
Meow,
Marcy