Dear Marcy

Dear Marcy: I Took A DNA Test. Now What?


It’s Another “Dear Marcy … Ask Her Anything And Hope She Doesn’t Answer!


Dear Marcy,

I recently did a DNA test through one of those ancestry companies. I really only did it for health reasons but have come to find out that I have relatives I’ve never heard of before. It looks like a few of them are half brothers and sisters!  This could be quite the family scandal.

I’d love to find out more but I’m worried about upsetting the family I’ve already got. Should I go ahead and contact these half brothers and sisters? Or should I keep quiet and not rock the boat? I imagine that a lot of family members may feel betrayed by this news but I’d like to know the truth.

What should I do?


Anxious Ancestor

Dear Senseless Sibling,

Do nothing.

You people are so weird with your DNA drama lately.

If you pursue your new family you’re just inviting more people into your life and I think in light of all that’s gone on with the pandemic we can agree that more people equals more problems.

Cats don’t care about their biological families. We only care about the families we get adopted into. This saves angst, anger, disappointment, sibling rivalry, failed parental expectations, and arguments over who gets to hold the remote control.

Seriously. You people should give up on all this biological baloney. Better to invest your time in actual baloney. Much yummier and super satisfying. Although not to the pig. But you’re not related to him so it doesn’t matter.

You’re Welcome,


*If you have a pressing question that needs to be answered by an opinionated cat, please email Marcy at

*For more advice from Marcy, check out our book, “Dear Marcy … Ask Her Anything And Hope She Doesn’t Answer!”

Because we all need telling off advice from an opinionated cat.

Always humorous.

Sometimes malevolent.




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  • Reply Big Mamma August 6, 2021 at 6:52 am

    Marcy, this is a life-changing issue that will affect many people. I think you need to consult with other experts like Abby, Polly, Aunt Acid, Miss Manners and Dr. Phil.
    Sometimes the cat perspective should not be applied to humans. No offense.
    I, personally, don’t have a solution to this one.

    • mm
      Reply Marcy Cat August 6, 2021 at 1:05 pm

      No. I am the ultimate expert. Dr. Phil is an overblown gasbag and Abby is dead.
      A cat perspective is the best perspective.

  • Reply Patty August 6, 2021 at 6:15 pm

    I like Marcy’s advice on this one. But it is a tough situation.

    • mm
      Reply Marcy Cat August 6, 2021 at 6:18 pm


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