It’s another “Dear Marcy … Ask Her Anything And Hope She Doesn’t Answer!” …
I am in my late 40s and starting to look my age. I have a friend who is 10 years younger. She doesn’t need plastic surgery, but is starting to have it. I think all of the Botox she’s had so far makes her look older (just having Botox makes her look like she’s trying to look younger). But now she’s starting to do things like having her eyes done, and she will eventually lift her face – she can afford it.
I need to do these things, and want to — I just don’t have the money. I’m so jealous of her!
I don’t want to look like an old hag while she gets to look young and gorgeous. I don’t know how to make peace with this situation. Help!
Wrinkly Green-Eyed Monster
Dear Old Bag,
You have three options.
1. Age (gracefully or not, that’s up to genetics and how much sugar/alcohol you consume) and get over it.
2. Get the surgery and look like a cast member of Desperate Housewives Of Wherever USA. Apparently, this stretched and pulled and puffed up look is actually in style (hi cast of Friends reunion) so hey – if that’s what you want – go for it. Obviously, this is the look your friend is going for. But I have to tell you – she is fooling no one into believing she is an “I’m under 25 and haven’t lost my baby fat so I’m still gorgeous in that nubile Lolita sex pot way”. No one is buying it. No one.
You hit the nail on the head: Plastic Surgery makes women look like they’re trying to look younger which actually makes them look older.
Honestly, I think you are more concerned with the fact that people think this look is attractive to everyone when really it is only attractive to weird men. And why you human women put all your self worth into looking sexy to weird men is beyond my comprehension but … there it is.
3. Get new friends. Older friends. Friends that look like frumpy crusty crones. This way you’ll be the younger/sexier looking one. Of course, this is only a temporary solution since once they all die off you’ll be back to where you started. But even older.
I recommend number one: Get Old and Get Over It.
*Thank you to our reader and friend, Karen Kefira, for the awesome question!
*If you have a pressing question that needs to be answered by an opinionated cat, please email Marcy at Marcy@MarcyVeryMuch.com
*For more advice from Marcy, check out our book, “Dear Marcy … Ask Her Anything And Hope She Doesn’t Answer!”
Because we all need
telling off advice from an opinionated cat.
Marcy — you’re an old lady cat. Will you be my frumpy crusty crone friend?
(I can’t argue with your advice on this one… you’ve hit the nail straight on the head!)
Marcy just left for her face peel, highlights, and rejuvenating massage. I’m sure she’ll get back to you soon.
(thank you for the awesome question!)
No. I’m too fabulous.
Yeah, agree with #1. ESP since we humans can’t cover our faces with fur, the way YOU can!
Heh heh heh. Cats win.
Advice from a cat whose wrinkles, bags and crowfeet are sheathed in a coat of shiney fur, who will never show her age and who has no empathy is probably not the best source.
However, I sort of agree. There are no good solutions except to die young and I’m not on board with that.
Having no empathy means I am the best source.
I’m with Marcy. It’s difficult, but we need to accept the privilege of getting older.
Exactly. Bags and wrinkles and jowly jawlines and all.