It’s another Dear Marcy. Ask her anything and hope she doesn’t answer! …
What should I do with this sweater I never liked but can’t seem to part with because it was so expensive?
It was given to me in 1985 by my now ex-husband. It cost $300 back then! Which would be precisely $830.89 in 2022.
(He must have really loved me to spend so much money on me!)
How can I give up an item of clothing that costs almost $1,000?!
- It’s got mother-of-pearl buttons!
- It was hand knitted in Nantucket!
- It fits me so well!
- And it’s so cozy!
I must be crazy not to like it, right?
I used to sheepishly wear it but the funny thing was – I always got a TON of compliments on it – which made me feel like there was something wrong with me for thinking it was kind of ugly.
I figured maybe I’d change my tune when I became an older woman and I would want to wear it. But I’m not sure now. Even though I actually think it’s back in style.
Maybe I’ll wear it out a few times and if someone compliments it I’ll try to give it to them?
But then again, I really feel I need to keep it.
I don’t know what to do.
Knitted in Knots
Dear Knitted Nightmare,
Are you serious? That sweater has pink hearts and snowflakes all over it.
It looks like it was knitted by woodland fairies with a grudge and an LSD problem.
- That sweater is painfully bad.
- That sweater is atrociously twee.
- That sweater screams saccharinely sweet lady living in 1985 with a vast Hummel collection, a Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker addiction whose favorite color is lavender, has a fuzzy toilet seat cover, and calls everyone dear.
By my estimation, your husband gave you that old lady sweater when you were about 35 years old. That was not love.
Let it go. Give it to Goodwill. Someone will buy it and love it. That’s their problem.
You need to get yourself a fierce black moto jacket, chelsea boots, and a vodka.
Now that’s love.
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Because we all need
telling off advice from an opinionated cat.
Marcy, dear, I don’t collect Hummels, I collect taxidermy cats and my toilet seat cover is Tabby.
Have you tried lavender (the plant, not the color)? Its soothing scent will help you chill while mitigating your litter box stench.
Thanks for your soulless advice. I will keep the sweater and wear it proudly and often.
Nice try. But you’ll never one-up me on the snark.
Replace the hearts and snowflakes with cats, maybe black cats to give it a Halloween vibe and I would be all over this sweater!
Stacey!!! Me too! Now that would be a sweater I’d wear!
Ah … so lovely to hear from you! Hope all is well and you and your family have a wonderful holiday and new year!