It’s Another Dear Marcy.  Ask Her Anything And Hope She Doesn’t Answer! …

Dear Marcy,

Now that we are back in the office after 3 years at home, I’ve noticed that my co-workers are slacking in the communal hygiene department. They leave our break room absolutely filthy every day.

Think two day old burnt coffee in the coffee pot, dirty glasses and grimey dishes in the sink, and an overflowing trash can.

And the microwave.

Oh my gato. Don’t even get me started on the microwave. The inside of it is covered in exploded food crud. Absolutely covered. No one cleans up after their mess so it’s just dried up baked on smeared all over crud on top of crud on top of crud.

Like, seriously. What gives with these people?

I simply want to mind my own business, heat up my cup of water for my tea at 2 o’clock and try to unwind for a minute so I can make it through til the end of the workday when I can go home.

But instead, I am confronted with humanity at it’s grossest. It makes me crazy mad. So much so that I am a rage filled wreck for the rest of the day. I can’t go on like this.

What do I do? I feel like Pam from that episode of The Office.

Except this is worse.

Sincerely,

Neat Nick

 

Dear Pam,

What you need to do is make sure they never step foot in the break room again. See recipe below.

What you need:

Friskies

Nose plugs

Smug smile

1. Heat up a can of Friskies in the microwave. Two minutes on high. (I suggest Salmon Entree for maximum fish scent)

2.  Do this every day for a week or until you see that everyone avoids the break room.

3.  Buy a new microwave.

4.  Keep the old microwave and a Friskies 24 pack handy so you can deploy this “Friskies Fish ‘Em Out” strategy anytime one of these humans tries to venture back in the break room.

5.  Bask in the glory of an empty break room, peace of mind, and revenge.

You’re Welcome,

Marcy

P.S. Lemme know when I should come over. I love a good hot can of fish Friskies. Yum.

 

 

*If you have a pressing question that needs to be answered by an opinionated cat, please email Marcy at Marcy@MarcyVeryMuch.com

*For more advice from Marcy, check out our book, “Dear Marcy … Ask Her Anything And Hope She Doesn’t Answer!”

Because we all need telling off advice from an opinionated cat.

Always humorous.

Sometimes malevolent.

♠

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In her recently published book, “mostly me, by penelope“.

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Join the adventures of Penelope Kitten, a Wiffle ball loving apartment cat as she navigates a world of crafty crows, killer coyotes, and vicious vacuums.

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♥