So over it. The bird. The ‘gram. All of ‘em.
The Social Media Blues
3pm. Tuesday afternoon. Strategy Meeting at MVM HQ.
Cynthia: Okay kitties. We’ve been disillusioned by social media for a while now – due to opaque and unfair algorithms and the pay-to-play bait-and-switch – but let’s do an audit this afternoon to see exactly where we stand.
penelope kitten (squeaking): yes sir. got my clipboard, pencil, + smiley face eraser.
Marcy: Yeah. Got my paw ready to hit the delete button.
Cynthia turns on the computer and logs onto Twitter. She scrolls and scrolls whilst getting increasingly disgusted.
Cynthia: Twitter is so gross lately. All those racist bros screaming in all caps about how if you don’t let them threaten to hurt people, it means you are against freedom of speech. Like … what?
Marcy: So stupid.
penelope kitten: makes me nervous.
Cynthia: The whole site feels … violent. The Elon Musk worship is scary and unhinged. How can people blindly follow an unstable petulant man child who likes to think he’s God?
Marcy: Uh. Donald Trump. Kanye West. Hoomans are baffling. And stupid.
penelope kitten (nervously): let’s leave.
Cynthia: I think we have to. I don’t want Marcy Very Much to be associated with all this violence and hate.
penelope kitten (panicking): can we please go now?
Cynthia switches over to Instagram.
Cynthia: We completely lost our reach at Instagram after we refused to make Reels. Now Instagram lets no one – not even our beloved followers – see our posts.
Cynthia and Marcy scroll through Instagram whilst getting more and more queasy.
Cynthia: Ugh. I know the reason Instagram is forcing its users to make short videos is to compete with TikTok, but now their whole site looks inane.
Marcy: Yeah. Just like TikTok.
Cynthia continues scrolling.
Cynthia: Oh my gato, all these vapid mind numbing videos! I’m losing my brain cells.
Marcy: I’m losing my lunch.
penelope kitten (squeak screaming): get out now!
Cynthia: I’m not even going to Facebook. Markie Z ruined that years ago after he did the ol’ bait-and-switch maneuver. The only way to get seen by your own followers over there is to pay.
Marcy: And pay and pay and pay.
Marcy stalks off with a purpose.
Cynthia: The thing about these social media platforms anyway is that you don’t own your own content. And it can disappear at any time. Think of all the people we know who have lost their accounts or got locked out or the algorithm decided not to show their posts to anyone.
penelope kitten: gasp. like zen by cat.
Cynthia: That’s right! One of our favorite cat nonprofits, Zen By Cat, had their Facebook page disappear and they don’t know why and they can’t get it back. All their followers, donations, time, and commitment just went POOF.
Marcy stalks back in with something in her mouth.
Cynthia: What have you got there, Marcy?
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*We’ll keep our Marcy Very Much Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest accounts but probably won’t be very active on them until something changes.
It looks like we are going to permanently leave Twitter.
Marcy: Not before we do a little Musk baiting. Heh heh heh.
Stay tuned …
penelope kitten (squeaking): btw, i heard social media platform, mastodon, is marvelous for moggies.
Update by Marcy: We left Mastodon. Everyone over there is depressed and angry and determined to stay that way. We’re still on Twitter but we don’t know why.