mostly me, by penelope

Penelope’s Pet Sematary

Can a cute black kitten scare the living daylights out of you? …


From the depths of under the sofa comes a squeaky voice.

squeaky voice:  “sometimes dead is better.”

Marcy: Oh shut up, Penelope.

Penelope Kitten pokes her head out from under the couch.

penelope kitten (squeaking):  you’re supposed to be scared.

Marcy:  I’m not scared. Go play Pet Sematary with Cindy.

Penelope Kitten creeps under Cindy’s desk.

penelope kitten: “sometimes dead is – “

Cynthia:  Ohhhh, Penelope…you’re so cute so cute so cute.

penelope kitten: I’m supposed to be scary.

Cynthia:  Aw… you’re too sweet to be scary.

Penelope Kitten scampers off, frustrated that no one is scared at her attempts to be the creepy dead kitty from Stephen King’s Pet Sematary.

penelope kitten:  hmpf. i wanna be scary.

Just then Penelope Kitten stops dead in her tracks. The hair on the back of her neck bristles, her tail stands up, and her back arches. She is frozen with fear.


Staring at her from a short distance is … a cat.

A cat that looks just like …


Marcy walks by.

Marcy:  Are you going to do this every time you walk by the full-length mirror?

penelope kitten:  i’m so super scary. muwaha ha ha. squeak!


Pet Sematary audio book available at Narrated by Michael C. Hall.



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  • Reply Big Momma March 25, 2019 at 9:15 am

    Penelope, may I offer some advice? Try incorporating the element of surprise.
    When your subject is resting comfortably, sneak up quietly then POUNCE! Let out a bloodcurdling yeowl and take a quick nip at a body part. This was my dearly departed Margaret’s method. It never failed and it probably took a few years off my life.

    • mm
      Reply penelope kitten March 25, 2019 at 11:41 am

      too violent 4 me.
      but thank u 4 the advice.
      penelope kitten

  • Reply Patty March 25, 2019 at 1:02 pm

    P-kitty, it’s all in the eyes, and you’re so sweet. I’m not sure you can channel that scariness! Maybe Marcy can help 😉

    • mm
      Reply penelope kitten March 25, 2019 at 1:16 pm

      marcy does mean, not scary so she’s no help.
      i’m gonna keep workin’ on it tho.
      penelope kitten

  • Reply TheLadyK March 25, 2019 at 1:41 pm

    That was awesome.

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch March 25, 2019 at 1:43 pm

      Yay! Thank you!

  • Reply Vik March 26, 2019 at 6:12 am

    Penelope, I never read that book, I am too much of a literary lightweight to read scary books like by Stephen King, as of decades ago. But if you say you’re scary I believe you! ?

    • mm
      Reply penelope kitten March 26, 2019 at 10:59 am

      thank u 4 ur support.i appreciate it v v v much.
      luv + squeaks!

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