mostly me, by penelope

‘Twas The Night Before Christmas

Penelope Kitten has concerns about the validity of this classic Christmas story…


*(buying via the affiliate links may result in Marcy and Penelope Kitten getting more treats)


11:30pm. The night before Christmas.

Cynthia and the cats are getting ready for bed.

Cynthia:  Shall I read us a Christmas story?

Marcy:  No.

penelope kitten (squeaking):  yeah yeah.

Cynthia:  C’mon, Marcy. It’ll be fun.

Marcy:  Whatev.

Cynthia:  Okay. Here goes.

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring,

Not even a mouse – 

penelope kitten (panicking):  gasp. monty! he’s always stirring.



Penelope Kitten races off to the the kitchen to make sure Monty’s okay.

Cynthia:  Who’s Monty?

Marcy:  Monty the Mouse who resides behind the microwave.

Cynthia (sighing):  Really? You guys let a mouse live in our house?

Marcy:  That’s debatable.

Cynthia (dropping her head into her hands):  And, behind the … microwave?!

Penelope Kitten yells/squeaks from the kitchen.

penelop kitten:  he better be okay, marcy very much! or i’m holding you responsible!

Marcy:  Monty’s a redundant rodent. But P likes him so I let him live. For now anyway.

Cynthia (muttering to herself):  Why? … Why? … Why don’t I have normal cats?

Penelope Kitten trots back to the bedroom, leaps back on the bed and settles in.


penelope kitten:  it’s alright. he’s stirring.

Marcy:  What’s he stirring now?

penelope kitten:  extra marshmallows in his hot choc.


Cynthia looks up aghast.

penelope kitten (explaining):  it’s his fave.

Cynthia drops her head back into her hands, muttering.

penelope kitten:  go on with the story now, please. don’t worry. monty is fine.

Cynthia continues to mutter to herself.

penelope kitten (to Marcy):  what’s next?

Marcy:  I don’t care.

penelope kitten:  i do.

Marcy:  Something about sugar plums, reindeer with unfortunate names, and a bowlful of jelly.

penelope kitten:  oh. monty doesn’t like jelly.

Marcy:  Whatev.



Happy Happy Holidays!



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  • Reply Patty December 24, 2015 at 10:31 am

    This is so cute!!! As always you find the best pictures!!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch December 26, 2015 at 4:06 pm

      thank you!

  • Reply Vik December 24, 2015 at 4:59 pm

    Have you ever heard the legend that on Christmas Eve at midnight, the animals speak? Isn’t it wonderful that in YOUR house, you don’t have to wait for Christmas Eve? Your cats are happy to offer their opinions at any hour, every day, LOL. Happy Holidays to to you all!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch December 26, 2015 at 4:07 pm

      I had not heard that! That is a fantastic legend! Love it! I guess nobody told my cats about it though. lololol

  • Reply TheLadyK December 24, 2015 at 8:28 pm

    Monty is THE AWESOME.
    (Does he know Thelonious?? 🙂 )

    Marcy, you’re killing me with this one!
    “Shall I read us a Christmas story?”
    I laughed my ass off at that!!

    also: “reindeer with unfortunate names”

    Merry Holiday to you and everyone!!!!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch December 26, 2015 at 4:10 pm

      Ahahaha. Monty and Thelonious are in cahoots that’s for sure!! 😉
      I have to say my mom(see her comment below), and two other friends had the same experience where their cats refused to kill the mouse in the house. Could it be that we are outbreeding the hunting instinct in our cats? lol Those darn cats!

  • Reply Big Momma December 25, 2015 at 9:21 am

    I don’t know what’s happened to the cat/rodent relationship. Margaret, an avid hunter, allowed a plague of rats to take up residence in the attic. Was she collecting rent? We hired an exterminator to evict them but they’ve relocated to the garage and Margaret now loves to perch on top of the tractor presiding over her tenants. I think we’ll allow them to winter there.
    Happy Festivus! May we all learn to co-exist as happily as our creatures.

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch December 26, 2015 at 4:13 pm

      You should check to see if Margaret’s opened up any bank accounts lately. Or she is possibly stashing the cash from her tenants under the mattress or something.
      Are you sure you want to let the rats winter in the garage? They may get bold and come in through the front door of the house if you’re not careful. You’ll walk in one day and Margaret will be serving them tea and cheese. I don’t trust her.

  • Reply Liz January 6, 2016 at 12:17 pm

    Hahaha! When we lived in the house in the woods in Michigan, I strongly considered getting a cat to deal with our mouse problem. Jazzy, like most dogs, was useless at hunting and exterminating pests. I remember coming home from a dinner date one night with Kyle. On the ride home, I was complaining about finding mouse droppings around the house, near sightings of them scurrying along the wall, and what we were going to do about it. Kyle thought I was imagining things, probably because if he accepted there was a problem, we’d have to take some accountability to fix it. We stepped out of the car into the garage, and a mouse fell from the top of the garage door onto my head. I started screaming and saying “SEE?!? DEFINITELY A PROBLEM!!!” But Kyle either missed it or pretended to miss it and was like, “It was probably a leaf or something.” And then a second mouse fell on my head. And he went to the grocery store to buy traps. Sorry, Monty.

    <3 Liz

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch January 6, 2016 at 3:25 pm

      Aaackkkkk! TWO mice falling on your head! Acccckkkkk!! I sometimes think mice and rats are cute but I could not have handled that!
      They do say that cats help clear out rodents – that their smell alone keeps them away. My mom had a cat though and that did not help with her rat infestation. Maybe you would have needed more than one cat.
      AAAckkkk! I can’t get them image of mice falling on my head out of my mind!!

  • Reply Isadora December 13, 2022 at 6:52 pm

    HAHAHA! oh my goodness! this should be an animated series–seriously. i am in love with all four characters 😍

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch December 13, 2022 at 9:04 pm

      Thank you, Isadora! First up is Penelope’s book which we expect to debut in Spring of 2023 – “mostly me, by penelope.”
      paws crossed!

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