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ageing

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Forever 28

Cynthia as a cartoon using the Hello Camera App

Cynthia:  One of the neatest things about all of this technology at our fingertips is the ability to alter our bad photos.

Dark shadows? Press auto-enhance.
Looking tired? Slap on a filter.
Horrified at how old you look? Turn yourself into a cartoon.

No matter what, you can always look twenty-eight.

Marcy:  What’s wrong with looking your age?

Cynthia (brightly):  Nothing.

Marcy:  Uh huh. Then why did you turn yourself into a cartoon?

Cynthia:  Because it’s fun! Because I can! Because… because…

Marcy:  Go on.

Cynthia:  Because…

Cynthia looks somewhat disconcerted.

Cynthia:  Because as time creeps in and settles into your face, the person in the mirror is not the same person on the inside.

And it’s so subtle.
But so startling.
And so scary because you realize how quickly life goes by.

Because there it is, grinding into your face. And you begin to understand why so many women who hit forty have “work” done.

I’d rather be a cartoon.

Marcy:  But isn’t using filters making it worse for your real life?

Cynthia:  Probably. I had a friend recently accuse me of being addicted to my filters. And you know…he’s right.

Marcy:  So what will you do now?

Cynthia (unabashedly and loudly):  Use more!!!

Look. I turned Freddy into a 1980’s film star! Doesn’t he look like Judd Nelson from The Breakfast Club?

 

 

Marcy:  No.

Cynthia:  And I turned you into an illustration!

 

Marcy illustrated

 

Cynthia (eagerly):  Maybe they’ll make eyeglasses with filters so we can see the whole world through Instagram! Gasp! Instagram Eyes! Now that would be social media at its best.

Marcy:  “Demented and sad, but social.”

 

*Oh my goodness, Joanna Goddard of A Cup of Jo, just published a post on aging today with an incredible interview of Frances McDormand by Katie Couric. Check it out here.

 

Fun

Happy 40th Birthday, Hello Kitty: Seven Reasons Why 40 Is Super Duper

Cynthia:  Happy Birthday, Hello Kitty!

 

Cynthia:  Hello Kitty turns 40 this year and Marcy and I would like to tell her not to worry! Forty really is as fabulous as they say!

Marcy: I’m nine.

Cynthia:  Yes, but in cat years, that’s forty-five.

Marcy:  Fine. Here are seven reasons why being over forty is freaking fantastic.

Cynthia:  At least from my experience.

 

 

1. People listen to what I have to say. 
Not being taken seriously was always something that bothered me when I was in my twenties and early thirties. Now that I’ve got some life experience I notice that my advice is asked for.  A lot even. And I love it. I feel smart and capable and interesting. Something I never felt in my twenties.

2. I don’t feel as vulnerable. 
I know many women feel insignificant as they age and aren’t getting noticed as much by men. While it’s true that the male gaze no longer lingers on me but rather goes directly to whatever young Hollywood hottie happens to be nearest, I find this to be a relief. A big relief. I could never control those gazes anyway so they felt dangerous. And at the very least, uncomfortable.

3. I don’t care what other people think of me. 
I realize that this one is cliche, but it really is true. I do not care. I will be myself and if other people don’t like it  – Who. Cares. This has been a revelation of self confidence. Especially as a former people pleaser.

4. Nobody asks me to help them move anymore. 
Yup. Adults hire movers.

5. Nobody asks to crash on my couch anymore. 
Yup. Adults stay in hotels.

6. I no longer have to pretend to like rap music. 
Yay. I can fully disclose that I love Duran Duran, the Bee Gees, and 70’s disco music, and if anyone snickers… well… see reason #3… yup… I do not care.

7. I am not self conscious about my body anymore. 
Wanna see my boobs and stretch marks? Sure! I don’t care. It’s just a body and I’m not uncomfortable with it anymore – or what “society” has to say about it. They’re not looking at it anymore anyway.

Marcy:  So you’re suggesting Hello Kitty turn into a selfish, know-it-all, dorky music loving… streaker?

Cynthia:  Okay so I think you missed my point entirely. But… yes.

 

Marcy raises her Friskies can. Cynthia raises her martini glass.

Marcy and Cynthia:  Happy 40th Birthday, Hello Kitty!

 

Marcy and Cynthia:  Cheers to the cute kitty with staying power. See you in another 40 when we talk about how great it is to be an octogenarian!

 

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