Why I feel we should try not to say this sentence…
Cynthia rushes around frantically looking for her cat ears and Marcy Very Much tee.
Marcy observes while lazily giving herself a bath.
Cynthia: Arrrrrghhhhh… Where are my cat clothes?
Cynthia dumps her entire closet onto the bedroom floor. Marcy leisurely chomps on her toenails.
Cynthia: WHERE … ARE… THEY? Arrrrrrrghhhhh….
Marcy gracefully stretches.
Cynthia: I know! The hall closet.
Cynthia rushes off. She comes back a few minutes later – empty handed and completely frazzled.
Marcy (nonchalantly): You gave your sister your tee and you’ll find the remnants of your cat ears under the refrigerator.
Marcy: Penelope Kitten thought they were mice. She tortured them, killed them, ate them, and then stored them under the frig for later. Isn’t that right, Penelope?
penelope kitten (popping up from under the clothes pile): yeah yeah. they’re dead. you’re welcome.
She jumps back into the pile of clothes.
Cynthia (sighing): I need the ears and the tee for CatCon LA in June. I’m going to cover the cat fashion and happenings like I did for the fantastically awesome LA Feline Festival. Remember?
|Cynthia at the LA Feline Film Festival|
Marcy (dryly): You never let us forget. So what is this new insanity you’re embarking on?
There are going to be –
Cat adoptions by Best Friends Animal Society.
And, our beloved FixNation will receive proceeds from the net profits and $1 of each ticket sale.
It is going to be…EPIC!
Cynthia’s eyes bug out as she rushes out to buy another pair of cat ears and steal back her shirt from her sister.
Cynthia: OMG! I can’t wait until June!
*You Might Also Like:
Cynthia: Just a reminder to everyone interested in Dylan Kendall Home Accessories’s Paw Footed Bowls, that the Indiegogo campaign ends this Thursday. October 10th at 11:59pm (Pacific Time).
The bowls are great for cats.
|Dylan Kendall Paw Footed Bowl|
|Dylan Kendall Paw Footed Bowls|
|Dylan Kendall Paw Footed Bowl|
And for people.
|Dylan Kendall Paw Footed Kitten Bowls|
Marcy got her own bowl and I got our other kitties the smallest ones for their wet food. Although I cannot guarantee that I won’t steal them for myself.
Marcy: You would steal from a cat, Cindy? How selfish.
Cynthia: Well, you already stole from me!
Marcy: Yeah, what?
Cynthia: My heart.
Marcy: Oh, Gawd! I feel a hairball coming up!
Cynthia: I find some pictures just so magical. This one is beautiful I think.
Cynthia: Even better, Marcy! I’ve got a case of the Outfit Inspirations from this pretty picture!Marcy: Oh no. A cat with a butterfly kissing its nose? Are we having an attack of the saps? Is it Sappy Cindy time?
Marcy: This didn’t end well last time. I remember a distinct mishap of heavy metal 80’s hair. Please spare us.
Cynthia: Now what do you think? I am loving this lantern sleeve look and Anthropologie now has a lantern sleeve top in black.
Cynthia: Paired with white or beige wide-leg pants.
Cynthia: Or a white skirt.
|Emeline Tulle Skirt|
Cynthia: A purpley-pink necklace.
|Dip-Dye Tassel Necklace|
Cynthia: And perhaps some lightly gold-toned shoes.
Cynthia (proudly): Get it, Marcy? I pulled all of the colors from the picture as well as the overall mood (whimsical, romantic, magical) and created a super pretty outfit around it!
Marcy: You’re a creative genius, Cindy.
Cynthia: Well, you don’t have to be sarcastic.
Marcy: It looks like this post is an excuse to go on a shopping trip to Anthropologie.
Cynthia: Excuse me, Marcy, but I never need an excuse to go to Anthropologie. (pause) And besides, this is obviously a case of me needing to do research for our blog. I mean, it’s my job … really.
Cynthia glances furtively at the clock.
Cynthia: Hmmm… They’re open for another couple of hours… I wonder if… hmmm…
Cynthia now glances furtively at her watch. Then at Marcy.
Cynthia (abruptly): Okay. Bye.
She hurriedly exits.
Marcy: She doesn’t know yet that I pushed her Anthro card under the fridge. Really, it’s for her own good.
Cynthia: Love this neato life size paper doll dress with a cat on it!
|Paper Desgin by Grupo 134 and Bruno Tortolano
for Buenos Aires Fashion Week
Marcy: I can’t do much with a paper dress. A paper bag is infinitely more useful, especially as a hiding place for my sneak attacks on random prey passing by.
Cynthia: What on earth kind of prey do we have in an apartment? Well, besides the occasional bug.
Marcy: Human toes. Specifically yours.
Cynthia rushes to her closet to put on shoes with Marcy in hot pursuit.
Marcy stares at the computer screen. She is gloating.
Cynthia (chirpily): Hey, Marcy girl, what’s happening?
Marcy: Behold, mere mortal. A statue has been created in my likeness and all of London is worshiping me.
|Monopoly Kitty Statue|
Cynthia (excitedly): Oh, will you look at that? That’s a statue of the new Monopoly game piece! Hasbro had a contest on Facebook to determine who would replace the iron. The kitty was up against a robot, a ring, a helicopter, and a guitar. So of course the kitty won! All of us cat fanatics voted and there are way more of us than people who love robots or guitars. Sorry to burst your bubble but the M is for Monopoly.
Marcy: You are mistaken, O Foolish One. The M is for Marcy. I am a God. See how scared my minions are of me.
|Monopoly Kitty Statue Startles London Jogger|
Cynthia (choosing to ignore her): But what is really so wonderful is that the Monopoly Kitty statue found her forever home at Battersea Dogs and Cats Home – an animal rescue in London that has been in operation since 1860. They do great work rescuing and rehoming London’s cats – or moggies – I should say! Moggy is slang for cat in London! Too cute!
Marcy: I expect the Queen to bring a sacrifice of Live Mouse and Biscuits when she comes to pray to me.
Cynthia (shaking her head): I wish you weren’t so delusional all the time.
Marcy: BEGONE. I am bored of you now. Bring me my Friskies and perhaps I will let you live.
Cynthia: Marcy! I love the Sad Cat Diaries! They are hilarious!
Marcy: They are not hilarious. They are a true depiction of the torment we cats go through everyday of our waking life. Which is exactly 5 1/2 hours.
For example, here are a couple of my own diary entries.
Today I regurgitated my
food immediately upon eating it, dispersing my partly digested pate on 5
different spots along the carpet in an attempt to alert the Authorities that a
hunger strike is imminent if they insist on buying Wellness instead of Friskies.
Are they trying to poison me with this so called health food?
Their cruelty knows no bounds and I fear for my safety.
Today the Authorities chargedat me with grinning faces, saying my name over and over in a severe high pitchwhilst chasing me around the sofa. Eventually, I was cornered. They then proceeded to trim the sharp points off my only means of attack defense.
After this horrendous torture they thought they could placate me with treats. Shamefully, I succumbed.
Their insanity is frightening. I believe they feel no remorse.
Marcy: See what I mean?
Cynthia: Um… noooo.. you actually have a pretty great life.
Marcy: Yeah… well.. Where’s my *&^#% Friskies!!!