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Feline, mostly me, by penelope

mostly me, by penelope (who stole my cheetos?)

 

Alarmed and distressed, Penelope Kitten races into the office where Cynthia and Marcy are blogging.

penelope kitten (sounding the alarm):  food bowl is empty!

No response as Cynthia glances at Marcy apprehensively.

penelope kitten:  it’s empty!

Cynthia:  I know.

penelope kitten:  then why is it empty? where are my dry crunchies?

Marcy (smugly):  You don’t get anymore dry crunchies. You’re on a diet.

penelope kitten:  Gasp!

Cynthia:  Marcy. Let me handle this. (To Penelope) We’re switching you over to a mostly wet food diet.

Penelope is stricken with horror.

Cynthia (gently):  I’m sorry, Penelope, but you’ve gained too much weight so we have to cut back on your dry food. According to Dr. Pierson of CatInfo.org, it’s not natural for a cat to eat food with grain and corn all day long. Too much dry food is causing the diabetes epidemic among house cats.

Marcy:  Yeah. You look like a bowling ball with feet.

Cynthia:  Marcy!

Marcy:  What. It’s true. We all saw her fall while jumping up on the bookshelf yesterday.

Cynthia (to Penelope): You don’t want to get diabetes do you? That’s scary.

penelope kitten:  but i love my dry crunchies.

Cynthia:  You can still have them, just not all day long.

Marcy:  Yeah. You wolf down the crunchies the same way Cindy devours a box of cookies.

Cynthia:  Marcy’s right about that. Eating dry food is like eating junk food. It’s got too much plant protein which is bad for cats, not enough water, and too many carbohydrates.

Marcy:  Cindy’s obsessed with carbs now.

Cynthia:  Marcy. I am not obsessed. I am concerned.

penelope kitten:  i won’t be able to live without my dry crunchies all day long.

Cynthia:  But you like wet food. I promise you won’t be hungry.

Marcy:  All-you-can-eat Friskies Pate is the best.

Cynthia:  You need to exercise more too. I’m joining a ballet class to help get my own blood sugar levels down. Why don’t I sign you up for kitty ballet?

 

The Cats Ballet Studio by Kilkennycat Art for Sale on Etsy

Penelope looks doubtful.

Marcy:  If you ate wet food like me, you’d be able to jump up onto the bookshelf without falling and having me and Scooter laugh at you.

penelope kitten:  okay. i’ll go. but only if i can wear a pink tutu.

Cynthia:  Great.

penelope kitten:  and have dry crunchies after.

 

*Kilkennycat Art is having a 20% off sale of artwork, ornaments, and prints over $18. Code is Birthday.

 

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