Cynthia: Hey Marcy! Did you hear? Ballet flats are considered “basic” in the fashion world. So cool! I love a good basic and ballet flats are my fave.
Marcy: I do not have good news for you.
Cynthia: Oh I only want to hear good news while I’m wearing my ballet flats. Which, by the way, were $13.98. On sale. At Target.
Cynthia does a little soft-shoe sale shuffle in her ballet flats.
Marcy: I am sorry to inform you that in today’s lexicon, the word “basic” is used to describe people and things that are “uncool” and “unoriginal”.
Cynthia stops dancing and looks crestfallen.
Cynthia: That’s so unkind. Who says that?
Marcy: The young people.
Cynthia (shaking her head): The young people are so mean to each other.
Cynthia thinks for a moment.
Cynthia: I’m wearing them anyway. I love them and as usual, I don’t care what anyone says.
Marcy: Okay then. Just stay away from certain Lucky Magazine editors, that girl from Man Repeller, and any of the researchers from eBay.
Cynthia: Researchers from eBay?!
Marcy: Yes. They recently did a study in which 64% of respondents said that women who wear ballet flats are probably boring.
Cynthia becomes so angry she starts taking off her clothes.
Marcy: What are you doing?
Cynthia: Well, clearly I have to run around the block naked in my ballet shoes.
Marcy (alarmed): Really?
Cynthia (manically): Ha. Now that’s not boring!
Cynthia takes off down the street while Marcy hides under the couch.