Browsing Tag

Hello Camera

Feline

Cat Noir

 

Photo by Cynthia Mance using the Hello Camera App

                                                          “I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat.”
                                                                                     – Edgar Allen Poe  

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Cynthia:  Sigh… writer’s block is no fun. There’s nothing worse than a blank screen staring you in the face and … mocking your inability to think or write a single original thoughtful thought.

Marcy (darkly):  I can think of worse things.

Cynthia: Well, yes, technically speaking, of course… there are much much much worse things.

Marcy:  Or maybe not.

Cynthia:  What do you mean?

Marcy (mysteriously):  You know what I mean.

Cynthia:  No. I don’t.

Marcy (even more mysteriously):  I think you do.

Cynthia:  What, Marcy?!

Penelope Kitten walks sadly into the room.

Marcy (forebodingly):  Penelope knows.

penelope kitten morosely shakes her head.

penelope kitten:  we’re doomed.

Cynthia:  Penelope! What?!

penelope kitten:  so doomed.

Cynthia:  You two are freaking me out! What, already?!

Marcy and Penelope Kitten lead Cynthia into the kitchen.

They stare forlornly at the empty food bowls.

Marcy:  How long have they been in this state, Penelope?

penelope kitten (despondently):  ten.

Marcy (stoically):  Ten. Ten whole minutes.

Cynthia (impatiently):  Are you kidding me?

Marcy’s and Penelope Kitten’s eyes well up with tears.

Cynthia: That’s it. You two drive me crazy. I don’t know what Edgar Allen Poe was talking about. Cats are NOT mysterious. Cats are straight up insane.

Cynthia briskly pours food into the food bowls and stomps off to resume letting a blank screen mock her inability to think or write an original thoughtful thought.

Marcy and Penelope Kitten happily munch away.

=^..^=

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Cynthia as a cartoon using the Hello Camera App

Cynthia:  One of the neatest things about all of this technology at our fingertips is the ability to alter our bad photos.

Dark shadows? Press auto-enhance.
Looking tired? Slap on a filter.
Horrified at how old you look? Turn yourself into a cartoon.

No matter what, you can always look twenty-eight.

Marcy:  What’s wrong with looking your age?

Cynthia (brightly):  Nothing.

Marcy:  Uh huh. Then why did you turn yourself into a cartoon?

Cynthia:  Because it’s fun! Because I can! Because… because…

Marcy:  Go on.

Cynthia:  Because…

Cynthia looks somewhat disconcerted.

Cynthia:  Because as time creeps in and settles into your face, the person in the mirror is not the same person on the inside.

And it’s so subtle.
But so startling.
And so scary because you realize how quickly life goes by.

Because there it is, grinding into your face. And you begin to understand why so many women who hit forty have “work” done.

I’d rather be a cartoon.

Marcy:  But isn’t using filters making it worse for your real life?

Cynthia:  Probably. I had a friend recently accuse me of being addicted to my filters. And you know…he’s right.

Marcy:  So what will you do now?

Cynthia (unabashedly and loudly):  Use more!!!

Look. I turned Freddy into a 1980’s film star! Doesn’t he look like Judd Nelson from The Breakfast Club?

 

 

Marcy:  No.

Cynthia:  And I turned you into an illustration!

 

Marcy illustrated

 

Cynthia (eagerly):  Maybe they’ll make eyeglasses with filters so we can see the whole world through Instagram! Gasp! Instagram Eyes! Now that would be social media at its best.

Marcy:  “Demented and sad, but social.”

 

*Oh my goodness, Joanna Goddard of A Cup of Jo, just published a post on aging today with an incredible interview of Frances McDormand by Katie Couric. Check it out here.

 

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