Browsing Tag

little sister

Feline, mostly me, by penelope

mostly me, by penelope: cuddle college bound

penelope kitten

Penelope Kitten is sitting by the front door.

Her suitcase is packed.

penelope kitten (squeaking):  bye bye.

Cynthia (surprised):  What?! Where are you going?

penelope kitten:  nursing school.

Cynthia:  Nursing school? Why are you going to nursing school?

Marcy (disgusted):  She saw that Bored Panda post about the black cat who nurses sick pets back to health by cuddling with them and now she wants to be a Nurse Cat too. She’s such a do-gooder.

Nurse Cat from Poland

Nurse Cat


penelope kitten:  better to be a do-gooder than a no-gooder.

Marcy (scoffing):  Whatever.

penelpe kitten:  cuddles are needed. gotta go.

Cynthia:  Ah… but we’ll miss you. Hey! Maybe you could stick around for when one of us here gets sick?  I’m sure Marcy would love to be cuddled by a Nurse Cat when she catches a cold.

Marcy:  Yuck! I don’t want Penelope purring all over me. Besides, she’s so dumb, she’ll never pass her classes.

penelope kitten:  you’re mean. i’m going to cuddle you til you’re nice.

Penelope Kitten launches herself into the air and onto Marcy’s head, pinning her down in a massive kitty cuddle.  

Marcy’s swears and curses are muffled by Penelope Kitten’s purrs.

Cynthia:  Looks like you don’t need school. You’re a natural.

penelope kitten:  this’ll take a while.

Cynthia:  So I should unpack your bags?

penelope kitten:  yeah yeah.

Marcy continues to hiss and swear as Penelope Kitten showers her with cuddles and purrs.


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Marcy’s Cat BITE (Big Important Tip, Everyone)


My Heartbeat


Cynthia is gushing at the computer.

Cynthia:  Awww… Marcy… look at this illustration. It just says it all, doesn’t it? My heartbeat is in cat form ’cause I love you soooooo much…

Marcy starts to gag.

Cynthia (still fixated on the cat heartbeat):  Awwww…

Marcy continues to gag.

Cynthia (still gushing):  Awwww…

Cynthia impulsively scoops up Marcy in her arms to give her a kitty kiss.

Cynthia:  Smooch smooch smooch …

Marcy throws up a hairball on Cynthia’s arm just as Penelope Kitten rushes into the room with an important announcement.

penelope kitten:  someone missed the litterbox.

Cynthia (sniffing):  I thought I smelled something.

Marcy (outraged):  When are you going to learn how to use the litterbox, Penelope?!

penelope kitten:  wasn’t me.

Marcy:  Yes it was! You’re the only one who misses.  You do it on purpose, don’t you?

penelope kitten:  maybe. maybe not.

Marcy:  It’s not polite and it’s not sanitary.

penelope kitten:  maybe. maybe not. maybe. maybe not.

Penelope Kitten reaches up to shred the arm off the sofa just as Marcy pushes off Cynthia to catapult herself onto the screen door and then onto Penelope Kitten’s back.

The two cats race off at top speed while knocking over everything in their path including a vintage lamp, a potted plant, and the TV.

Cynthia surveys her demolished house and torn Anthropologie sweater and then checks her cat heartbeat again.

She wonders what it would be like to have goldfish for pets instead of cats.

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mostly me, by penelope: eating spaghetti

Black Cat Appreciation Day

mostly me, by penelope: kitten rumble







Playing Nice. Not.

Marcy is peacefully napping in her sunspot.

Penelope Kitten barges in to Marcy’s sunspot, plops herself down, and starts to noisily take a bath.

penelope kitten:  cindy’s not sunny today.

Marcy:  I know. She’s got a cold. Only humans catch colds in 100 degree weather. That’s why she hasn’t been blogging. So I’m in charge. Now get out of my sunspot.

Penelope Kitten rolls over to bathe her stomach, pushing Marcy even further out of the sunspot.

penelope kitten:  she says for you to be nice to me today ’cause she needs a nap.

Marcy:  No. She wants you to stop bothering me so she can get some rest.

penelope kitten:  you have to be nice.

Marcy:  You have to not be a pest.

penelope kitten:  no you

Penelope reaches out her paw and whaps Marcy on the head. Hard.

Marcy:  Ow! No. You.

Marcy whaps Penelope Kitten on the head.

penelope kitten (whap):  you

Marcy (whap):  You.

Cynthia rushes in to stop the whapfest.

Cynthia:  STOP IT!  Aaaaaargghhhhh… You two are driving me crazy. How hard is it to be nice to each other?!

penelope kitten:  sorry

Marcy:  Yeah. Sorry.

penelope kitten:  marcy started it.

Marcy:  Gasp! I did not.

Cynthia:  Marcy! I expected more from you.

Cynthia exits, shaking her head.

Penelope Kitten whaps Marcy on the head. Hard.

penelope kitten:  no you

Penelope Kitten runs away.

Marcy (seething and rubbing her head):  Little sisters should be outlawed. (By the way, Cindy should be back tomorrow.)



Feline, mostly me, by penelope

mostly me, by penelope (#blackcatsrule)

Marcy is taking a bath while Penelope Kitten leaps up and down like a jumping bean.

penelope kitten (jumping):  #blackcatsrule

Marcy rolls her eyes and continues with her bath.

penelope kitten (jumping):  #blackcatsrule (jumping)  #blackcatsrule

Marcy:  Says who?

penelope kitten (jumping):  #twitter

Marcy:  Twitter is for the birds.

penelope kitten (jumping):  #blackcatsrule

Marcy:  Stop talking in hashtags already. And stop jumping. I’m getting nauseated.

penelope kitten (jumping):  #cantstopwontstop

Marcy:  Well, Black cats don’t rule. I do. And you shouldn’t be on Cindy’s computer. She doesn’t like kitty cooties on the keyboard.

penelopekitten (jumping):  #bossy. #imtellingmom

Marcy:  She’s not your mom.

penelope kitten (jumping):  #yessheis

Marcy:  No she’s not. She’s a human and you’re a cat.

Penelope Kitten stops jumping and gapes at Marcy.

penelope kitten:  no santa claus. no easter bunny. and now cindy’s not my mom?!

Penelope Kitten goes back to being a jumping bean.

penelope kitten (jumping):  #yeahright

Marcy:  Hey! I never told you there wasn’t a Santa Claus. I told you there wasn’t a Tooth Fairy.

penelope kitten (aghast):  no tooth fairy?



Marcy:  Oh. Oops. I guess I got confused.

Penelope Kitten runs off yelling for Cynthia.

penelope kitten:  mom! mom! mom! marcy’s being mean. she says there’s no tooth fairy!

Marcy:  #MarcyRules



Feline, mostly me, by penelope

mostly me, by penelope (high hopes)


Marcy is in the kitchen enjoying an afternoon snack.

Penelope Kitten is prancing around the house singing a song. She has been doing this nonstop for the past three hours.

penelope kitten:  just what makes that little ole ant/think he can move that rubber tree plant/everyone knows –

Penelope Kitten stops suddenly after she rounds the corner and sees Marcy eating.

penelope kitten:  i want some.

Marcy:  No way.

penelope kitten:  i want a treat too.

Marcy:  Tough luck.

penelope kitten:  then i’m going to sit here and sing my song.

Penelope Kitten starts singing her song very loudly in Marcy’s face.

penelope kitten:  high hopes/he’s got high hopes/he’s got –

Marcy:  Stop it. You’re bugging me.

penelope kitten:  then give me some.

Marcy:  No. I was here first.

penelope kitten:  i was here second. he’s got high apple pie in the sky hoooopes/so anytime-

Marcy:  Stop it!

penelope kitten:  you’re gettin’ low/just remember that ant –

Marcy gets fed up and walks away.

penelope kitten (happily eating and singing):  whoops there goes another rubber tree… nom nom nom… whoops there goes… nom nom nom…

Marcy (disgusted):  That song is about perseverance to get what you want, Penelope. It’s not about being a pest to get it.

penelope kitten (happily eating her kibble):  that’s meeeee! penelope the persevering pest… nom nom nom…