Feline, mostly me, by penelope

mostly me, by penelope (who stole my cheetos?)


Alarmed and distressed, Penelope Kitten races into the office where Cynthia and Marcy are blogging.

penelope kitten (sounding the alarm):  food bowl is empty!

No response as Cynthia glances at Marcy apprehensively.

penelope kitten:  it’s empty!

Cynthia:  I know.

penelope kitten:  then why is it empty? where are my dry crunchies?

Marcy (smugly):  You don’t get anymore dry crunchies. You’re on a diet.

penelope kitten:  Gasp!

Cynthia:  Marcy. Let me handle this. (To Penelope) We’re switching you over to a mostly wet food diet.

Penelope is stricken with horror.

Cynthia (gently):  I’m sorry, Penelope, but you’ve gained too much weight so we have to cut back on your dry food. According to Dr. Pierson of CatInfo.org, it’s not natural for a cat to eat food with grain and corn all day long. Too much dry food is causing the diabetes epidemic among house cats.

Marcy:  Yeah. You look like a bowling ball with feet.

Cynthia:  Marcy!

Marcy:  What. It’s true. We all saw her fall while jumping up on the bookshelf yesterday.

Cynthia (to Penelope): You don’t want to get diabetes do you? That’s scary.

penelope kitten:  but i love my dry crunchies.

Cynthia:  You can still have them, just not all day long.

Marcy:  Yeah. You wolf down the crunchies the same way Cindy devours a box of cookies.

Cynthia:  Marcy’s right about that. Eating dry food is like eating junk food. It’s got too much plant protein which is bad for cats, not enough water, and too many carbohydrates.

Marcy:  Cindy’s obsessed with carbs now.

Cynthia:  Marcy. I am not obsessed. I am concerned.

penelope kitten:  i won’t be able to live without my dry crunchies all day long.

Cynthia:  But you like wet food. I promise you won’t be hungry.

Marcy:  All-you-can-eat Friskies Pate is the best.

Cynthia:  You need to exercise more too. I’m joining a ballet class to help get my own blood sugar levels down. Why don’t I sign you up for kitty ballet?


The Cats Ballet Studio by Kilkennycat Art for Sale on Etsy

Penelope looks doubtful.

Marcy:  If you ate wet food like me, you’d be able to jump up onto the bookshelf without falling and having me and Scooter laugh at you.

penelope kitten:  okay. i’ll go. but only if i can wear a pink tutu.

Cynthia:  Great.

penelope kitten:  and have dry crunchies after.


*Kilkennycat Art is having a 20% off sale of artwork, ornaments, and prints over $18. Code is Birthday.


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  • Reply Lisa - respect the shoes July 25, 2014 at 1:13 am

    I feel for Penelope Kitten. She adores dry crunchies like I adore all-things-carbs. It's a hard hard thing to give up …

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch July 25, 2014 at 11:22 pm

      It is! I should never have put Cheetos in the title to my blog post because every time I see it I want a bag. A whole bag!

  • Reply Anonymous July 25, 2014 at 3:01 am

    Penelope, either your body is expanding or your head is shrinking. In any case, you and Cynthia have inspired me to cut back on my beloved carbosnacks. Let's make it our goal to loose one inch of waistline by Labor Day.

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch July 25, 2014 at 11:20 pm

      i'll try. but mom says that might be too much too fast for a kitty. how about 1/2 and inch for me.

  • Reply Whimsical Preppy July 25, 2014 at 4:17 am

    Poor Penelope. I have a cat bigger than Penelope who should be on a diet. It's so hard because we have two other cats, one being a young one-year-old and the 4-year-old only wants dry food. This has made the situation tricky.
    We feed them Fancy Feast wet and dry.
    Good luck to both of us,

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch July 25, 2014 at 11:19 pm

      This is our problem too. Four cats all with completely different eating habits. I did notice that our one cat, Hamlet, who will only eat the wet food is the healthiest and most fit. Even though we are feeding Friskies Pate which some say is really not all that great. We do feed them Wellness dry which is supposed to be very good though. But, Penelope who loooooves it is the heaviest and most sluggish. And she's the youngest at 2 years old. Dr. Pierson says that the worst wet food is better than the healthiest dry food. Honestly, when reading the ingredients on Friskies Pate – it's pretty comparable to the expensive so called "healthy" stuff. Pate only – not the shreds – those have a lot of wheat. Anyway, definitely an interesting subject!

  • Reply Anonymous July 25, 2014 at 6:25 pm

    Pink tutus rock!! Penelope is so expressive in her pics. And i just love the ballet cats. So cute!!!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch July 25, 2014 at 11:12 pm

      Oh I agree! Who doesn't love a pink tutu! Although the blue ones in the picture are super cute too!

  • Reply Ms. Phoebe July 26, 2014 at 12:05 am

    Penelope you are the cutest, can I take ballet with you? I'm not a kitty but I think takihg kitty ballet will help encourage me to exercise, as I too could stand to lose a few pounds!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch July 26, 2014 at 10:51 pm

      let's all take kitty ballet! we'lllook super duper cute in our tutus and tights!

  • Reply GnomeLover July 26, 2014 at 6:41 am

    I definitely would have thought that wet food would be more fattening. That is so interesting. The funny thing is Penelope really does look panicked that her kibble is missing. She is making me feel sorry for her with that desperate look. How come we never hear about Hamlet? 'Cause I would love to know what Marcy is thinking about him! Especially since he steals all of the good food!


    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch July 26, 2014 at 10:59 pm

      Oh I know! We used to hear for years that dry food was better. To be honest, Penelope has been switched over to a mostly wet food diet for a few months now, and she is looking great and has more energy so I am now a wet food believer. I'll let Marcy talk about Hamlet.

      everyone loves hamlet and compares him to a cuddly teddy bear and says he is more like a dog than a cat. i mean, he actually flops in front of your feet for belly rubs. so tacky. he cares nothing about fashion and art and only likes sports. plus he's a boy. also, cindy doesn't want everyone to think she's as cat crazy as she is. maybe he can be on the blog later.

  • Reply Merrie K. July 27, 2014 at 12:55 am

    hahahaha…a bowling ball with feet! I'm sure it was just a little balance issue, not a tummy issue with p-kitty…lol…poor thing…I feel a little "bowling ball-ish" myself 🙂 She's such a cutie pie…she and minnie should join a support group for curvaceous kitties and they can help each other thru the hard times. 🙂 Speaking of kitties, I just drove 13 hours with the kitties and OMG…I strongly considered putting minnie out or getting her a plane ticket…she cried for 2 hrs straight…with a sedative!!! She nearly drove me crazy! But we survived and are now in SF! 🙂 Are u really taking ballet…hlow cool?

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch July 27, 2014 at 8:28 pm

      Poor Minnie. Or rather – poor you. Freddy and I drove from Austin to Oregon a few years ago when we moved. Freddy had the bad luck of having both cats in his car. They cried nonstop too for about the first two hours of every day of the trip. We stopped in horrible Laramie, Wyoming for the night at the creepiest hotel and Marcy and Scooter wanted to stay there. They planted themselves under the bed and refused to come out. Travelling with cats is so stressful. So glad you all made it! I hope the cats are getting used to their new home!

  • Reply Merrie K. July 27, 2014 at 12:57 am

    BTW…I love all the products in your amazon shop. I've been eyeing the cat shelves and those modern cat trees for a while. I have to buy them a new tree bc I sold their old one when we left AZ. Have you tried any of them or heard anything? Looks like they got really good reviews on amazon…

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch July 27, 2014 at 8:36 pm

      Both the cat tree and the oval scratcher are great. A friend of mine with two cats has both. They look great and the cats love them. The tree is very sturdy. It's so much nicer than a regular carpet tree. I really want it but am waiting for my ugly cat tree to – well – get uglier and more worn down before I splurge on the nice one. I do not know how the cat shelves hold up but I want those too and put them up on the store because they got such great reviews. I like that the pads are replaceable and they seem sturdy and elegant.

    • Reply Merrie K. July 28, 2014 at 7:30 pm

      LOL…good to know! The prices of cat trees alwasy hurt me, but since my place is so small, i want something thats not hideous! Thanks for the feedback 🙂 bTW…i used all your tips from the "cat cooling " post…it was literally 100 degres when i moved into the apartmenty and i was afraid my kitties would fall out while i went to get a fan. It took me a while to realize that it was actually much, much cooler at thier level than at mine, since the AC was close to the floor. Anyway, we survived and i'm glad to let you know that they worked! 🙂 Also, on a sad note…i think minnie rubbed all the fur off her nose while being stressed out by the drive…its breaking my heart…

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch July 29, 2014 at 12:38 am

      Awww… poor Minnie! I hope she is coping better today and starting to get used to her new home. Your ordeal sounds just ghastly. How horrible to have such a bad experience after driving for 13 hours with a screaming cat. Minnie will be okay! Give her lots of treats! xoxo

  • Reply Gwen July 29, 2014 at 10:03 pm

    Penelope kitten! She is so adorable. I bet she was even adorable falling of the shelf! I have to admit, she is my favourite out of your cats (don't tell Marcy)! Good luck with the diet, dry foods are bad for dogs too, as my mum discovered when she was being a big silly and feeding her dog mostly dried bread. (Fair enough, this was right after my dad went into a coma so she had other things on her mind, but still, it was terrible for the dog.) I think we humans always have to remember how different we are from animals, it's so easy to forget that… and I think it's cool that you're doing an awareness post on it, so to speak!

    • Reply MarcyVeryMuch July 30, 2014 at 8:03 pm

      You are so right – I could never make my cats be vegetarian too since they must have meat. Is it called carnivore obligate?
      Everybody loves Penelope best. She's such a character. And very sweet. And bossy in a police chief kind of way. She also poses for photos which Marcy will not do ever. She may indeed take over the blog.

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